🎯 Real Talk: How I Burned Out (Twice!) and Found My Purpose Again
Oct 27
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After two rounds of burnout as a Director of Special Education, I learned some hard lessons about leadership, resilience, and knowing when to pivot.Â
My path in education evolved from special education teacher to state department of education work, and then to district leadership. On paper, everything was ideal: a supportive superintendent, strong relationships with the Board of Education, and an incredible family who understood when work demanded extra time and energy.
For about five years, it was exactly what I hoped for. Making meaningful change, supporting both students and staff, watching initiatives succeed. Then burnout hit with a punishing blow, though I didn't recognize it at first.The constant headaches and insomnia should have been warning signs, as should the way my shoulders stayed permanently tensed. Meanwhile, my usual optimism had given way to persistent anxiety, and I found myself unable to feel genuine joy in achievements that once would have thrilled me. The worst of it was my family silently suffering my moodiness, distractibility, and my physical hours away from them.Â
Despite having every possible support - including a superintendent who creatively tried to help me find new paths within the role - I spent three more years pushing through mounting exhaustion. I stayed because I was comfortable (it’s relative) and I had confidence (finally) that I knew what I was doing. I made a decision to leave and when I finally left, I thought a change of district would reset everything. New environment, same role, no problem... and then COVID arrived.
Out of commitment to the district during the crisis, I stayed. Again, I had a great team and strong relationships with colleagues. I felt like I was doing some good, and I wasn’t starting from scratch - I did this before! But this time, I recognized the warning signs of burnout returning. Learning from my past, I made a significant change before reaching that critical point again. I was fortunate to find a role still in educational leadership, but without the anxiety and constant fires to put out. Now, I lead other educators to build capacity working with students, schools, and districts. I am lucky to work with remarkable educators in a role that better serves both my purpose and my family's wellbeing, and allows me to keep learning.Â
The most important lesson? Burnout isn't a failure - mine wasn't anyone's fault. Although I didn’t know it at the time - the fear of perceived failure tortured me into staying. Just because I burned out didn't mean I couldn't find fulfillment in work again. It just had to be different work. What I needed most was someone to talk with before reaching the breaking point. Not for solutions, necessarily, but for:
Reflection and awareness
Questions that provoked deeper reflection
Space to process aloud
Find focus on what truly mattered
Judgment-free listening
I see fellow education leaders facing similar struggles, and it’s only October. They sometimes reach out just to talk, and I primarily listen and ask questions. These conversations often bring both tears and breakthroughs. This experience put me on a new path and shaped my current purpose in this journey: being the sounding board I needed during those challenging years. One of my goals is helping educational leaders recognize and navigate their challenges before reaching that point of no return.
If this resonates with your experience in educational leadership, I'd welcome your thoughts. Sometimes sharing our stories helps others feel less alone in similar circumstances.
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